The Ten Commandments, updated for a modern age

• Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked, and not drone on endlessly.
• Thou shalt not use circular arguments, such as "God exists, because the Bible sayeth so, and the Bible is True because it is God's Word."
• Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid. See Commandment 1.
• Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as "God worketh in mysterious ways" when backed into a corner by thine own convoluted logic.
• Thou shalt use thine own imagination, and not just quote from the Bible all the time.
• Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe, nor that thy God loveth them.
• Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God. He is big enough and old enough to looketh after himself.
• Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh. Thou canst not know.
• Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent and hath no contradictions. Thou wouldst be a fool to doeth so.
• Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers, truck-drivers and shopkeepers that actually did the work required to get your food to the table.