I was raised in a Catholic home, going to church every Sunday and going to a Catholic school (kindegarden-8). I lived in a Catholic neighborhood and had Catholic friends, prayed every night and before meals, pretty much brainwashed from birth. Fortunately, my parents, namely my dad, were somewhat liberal, and they encouraged me to learn a lot about science from an early age. I grew up watching National Geographic specials, and read many books about outer space, the earth, and, thankfully, evolution. I never really liked church, with all of the formality and ritual, not to mention how BORING it is, and science always made more sense to me. I started believing in evolution early on, and started doubting parts of the bible, namely Genesis, but in most part the whole old testament. This started at around age 6-8.

At around age 12 or 13, my family stopped going to church as often, eventually only on holidays. At this time I was learning in depth about evolution in school (I did and still do love to read books about science, stuff most teens never even give a thought to). I was lucky to go to a Catholic school that teaches evolution. I guess it got money from the state government for funding, so it had to, but I digress. So here I am, age 13, still believe in God, but also have a conflicting belief in all things science, which is much better supported. Here is where the real cracks in my faith begin to form. I started to seriously think critically about my beliefs, and tried to analyze them to see what fit. I was 16 when I really got serious about it. I decided to stop praying while I thought about it, and so for the next month, I gave some deep thought to my beliefs. I remember laying in bed, when I realized that God in no way could fit into the world as I saw it, with all I knew about biology, evolution, geology, cosmology, and other such sciences. It had all become so clear to me. This is when I completely threw out the bible as nothing more than a nice fairy tale. And now I had another problem: now what? I can't tell my faithful parents, or my sister, or really anyone I knew, because I knew how they all felt about atheists. I couldn't disappoint my family and friends, but I knew I had to be true to myself about what was the truth; I couldn't lie to myself. To help myself out, I told them (my family) that I am reevaluating my beliefs and do not know what I believe per se. Yes, it's a lie, but I guess I don't have to be worried about HELLFIRE! ha ha. Seriously, even with the fact that I can't tell me family how I feel, even my somewhat liberal father, ever since I realized the truth, I have felt a lot less guilty about myself (Catholicism is really bad about that) and have a clearer out look on life, and other people for that matter. I am 18 now and couldn't be happier in my beliefs (or, in truth, lack thereof).

Sorry to ramble on so much, thanks for letting me share my story.

Brandon McGinnity