I was brought up a generic Church of England middle class, superior WASP. church aternate Sundays (when there was a gig on in the village- we shared a vicar), prayers kneeling by the bed every night: 'Jesus gentle shepherd hear me' and so on (if anyone is unaware of this classic of religiously inspired doggerel, I'll be happy to email the full text).
at the age of about 9, I was in church, reading a prayer I'd written, knowing it was insincerely meant and plagarised. god failed to strike me down. a weight went off my shoulders. I suppose I realised I'd been right all along :)
I love the fact that I'm free to think what I like about the rights and wrongs of any given situation. there's power in freedom of thought that you just can't find in the rule books. intellectually, I've been everywhere and looked at every aspect of things that I've come across, and usually, while accepting the challenges of ambiguity, I can see the least harmful way to go. I'm incredibly glad I had the experience of free thought before I came out as a lesbian, because otherwise the repression of that background could well have destroyed me, as I see it destroying other queer people that I talk to and work with.
I'm free. that makes me thoroughly happy and able to embrace life. faith is no loss.
Kate Joester
http://www.eccentrica.org/dazey/
dazey@earthling.net