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My father was a non commissioned officer in the United States Air Force and as a result the family moved around, so I was born in the state of South Dakota, right in the middle of America and spent my first two years of life in Omaha, Nebraska. It was at this early age that the family moved again to a charming little Air Force Base in eastern England at which I spent four-and-a-half of my more formative years. My parents at the time were HUGE tourists, I think we visited every castle, cathedral, and ruined Abby south of Scotland, of course these visits meant little to me, being a small child and all, and they usually ended with the words, "But mommy, the castle (or whatever) is sooo old and sooo boring." Anyway, my experience in England were the foundation of my religious instruction, not to mention my secular knowledge and linguistic skills. (British TV is fun and educational!) Anyway, after my father's tour in the UK was up we were transferred to the bastion of religious enlightenment that is the great American state of Utah. The state is almost entirely Mormon, (they have a small Jewish population and a major Air Force Base) and like any religious majority is rather intolerant of differing views and people. Having an English accent and an ignorance of anything American, (I grew up in the 1980's and I am told I missed My Little Pony, and Pound Puppies, but hey, you win some and . . .yeah . . . ), I was immediately marked an OUTSIDER, and thus the subject to more than the usual dose of gossip and torment. It was a lack of fellowship and fear for their children that prompted my family to join the closest Protestant church and become not only members but active members and I, being a child and all had to join in the fun, which was church and Sunday School every Sunday. I honestly don't remember any of the classes (selective amnesia and all) but I do remember one time I woke up in the middle of the night and prayed to jesus to protect the poor children in Africa (I just saw one of those save the children commercials on TV), it didn't work, and it was the first and last time I ever really prayed. I also remember the extra activities, being forced to dress up as a sheep for the Christmas pageant is traumatic enough, isn't it? Well, this, and the constant whispers behind my back made me dislike religion and the people associated with it, and I think that is when I abandoned my faith in christianity. It wasn't that I had been asking questions or reading books it was just I didn't want to be like them, nattering on about god and jesus one minute and tormenting others the next. I also had been studying the history of Utah and knew that the Mormons had been persecuted in the past and I thought that THEY of all people should be kind to outsiders. I know now that the persecution of others is common of all religions and all people with 'historic' ties to an area, but still . . . After 5 years my father retired from the Air Force and decided at the age of 41 to become a funeral director; he chose this over becoming a pastor (shudder), and the best one of the best schools for this area of study is South Alaska, otherwise known as Minnesota, which is east of South Dakota and north of Iowa but still less fun than hell; and it was in this frigid furnace of supposed tolerance that My atheism was forged. Minnesota, has a HUGE population of christian Swedes and christian African Americans with a holier-than-thou attitude equal to that of any other people and I encountered the same problems, just less open. All the while, I was continuing My studies of all matters, both secular and religious and finding gaping hypocrisies in a people who should be more tolerant of those not like them, but they were not. Middle school was a nightmare and the less said about it the better. It was in high school that I first proclaimed my disbelief publicly, and dropped not so subtle hints to my now churchless parents. As I expected I was forced to defend my faith, or lack thereof, fortunately most American high school students are ignorant of any real facts and I usually wound up teaching them a thing or two or seven about their own religion. After high school I decided that I would pay for college. I wasn't going to be like those christians who took their parents hard earned money and blew it on beer and contraceptives, and at college, community college, (Yeah, like I'm going to pay thousands extra for the 'University Experience') but college none the less, I discovered Eastern Religions, and I (sob) slipped (sniff)! I decided to follow the advice of Timothy Leary and create my one religion by fusing the best of east and west and found my self practicing a bizarre form of Paganism. At first it was wonderful, I began seeing the wonders of nature and of life, the wonders continues to this day by the way. But alas, this Pagan dreamland didn't last very long, you see while all this was going on, my now fundamentalist parents, (well not quite, my mom believes in the literal interpretation of genesis, and reincarnation for animals, go figure), joined a CONSERVATIVE Lutheran church. My sister tells me that they will destroy any non-christian music CD they find! However, due to a slip by my sister in conformation class, they now know I am an evil pagan and must be saved, in addition my parents informed me that the pastor wanted to talk to me and see where I was coming from. I got sooo mad, and I didn't know why, I still don't; and I started PLANNING what I would say to him if I ever met him, plotting attack and counter-attack, every gambit and subversion. I kept defining my Paganism and found that I moved closer to atheism, but my real conversion came recently. My job is terribly boring and because of a handy Internet connection I began to surf the web in search of ammunition and I stumbled onto the Wasteland of Wonders. I was perusing the articles and it all clicked, everything I taught myself made sense again, I KNEW that all of these religions I had studied were TOOLS of oppression, how could I follow any religion, they were all hypocrites and charlatans! I reaffirmed my atheism and my knowledge that most people don't suck. Ah, but this is just the beginning, at 20 I am still a young pup, with many adventures ahead. If this is too long I am sorry. Contact me if you wish, I would be happy to have an intelligent conversation about anything. Remember, JESUS SAVES!, by using double coupons and shopping wisely! (I saw it on a button) Joshua Uloth JUloth@lycos.com |