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The journey from being a faithful Catholic to freedom from religion was an ordeal. It was not something that happened overnight. I came from a very conservative and religious Catholic family from Cebu City, Philippines. My parents, who are both educators (my father, a school principal and my mother, a teacher), sent me to one of the best Catholic schools in the city. Both school and my family molded me as I grew up. Since I studied in a Catholic school from kindergarten to college, we had Religion classes every semester, and before and after every class, we prayed. Coming from such kind of a family, there was never a time that I talked back to my parents. Well, I was not really little miss perfect, but I tried; I said my prayers everyday and every night, went to church on Sundays and on holy days of obligation, prayed the rosary, went to confessions, etc. But like every person, I have done wrong, you know like cheating in class and lying. I sure was a God fearing person. My husband is an atheist and my marriage was a stepping stone for me in becoming one. An atheist, as defined by Mr. Webster, is someone who denies or disbelieves the existence of God or gods, deity or of divine beings. When I knew that he is an atheist, I said to myself it was better so we won't be arguing or debating on religion and that maybe I will be able to convert him to Christianity in the future. It never really bothered me that he is an atheist, because all what matters is that we love each other. One time I talked to my uncle on the phone; well he is a devoted Catholic lay minister. He asked me if my fiance was Catholic and I told him that he does not believe in God. Boy, my uncle was shocked and he wished me good luck. I never thought that I would be deconverted, never did I question my faith until I got over here in the United States. My husband and I always had discussions about religion. He was not pressuring me but instead, he went to church with me. Of course, he laughed during sermons specially when the priest talked about the bible. Let me have the freedom to tell all of you that my husband studied the bible, and realized its flaws. There was even a time that I told him to just stay in the car while I go to church (I don't drive. I can't drive, not yet anyway), but he wanted to be with me. Every conversation about Christianity and the bible really affected me, but I was still stubborn. I didn't want him to know that I was questioning my faith. I can't seem to reason out whenever he asked me stuff, I don't really know the bible that well nor do I understand my religion, its beliefs and practices. The foundation of my faith is weak. Why? So many questions bothered me and fear came in me. What would happen to me now? So many questions were in my mind. A lot are answered by science. You can not explain the existence of God and how we came to be from what the bible tells us, but science can. The bible can not tell us how vast God made the universe, it does not mention it, but science can prove it. If God loves us so much, why does he allow suffering, death, tragedy, crimes, etc.? Is He really with you all the time, in times when you need him most? Didn't you ever forget to give credit to yourself for the good things or success in your life? It was not God you did it, it was you. You made it possible. Isn't the reason why we call God's help for Him to be with us , guide us, help us? Obviously, he can not do anything that you can't. If you were God, would you want everything to be perfect and everyone to be happy? Why do you believe in what you believe in? Tell me. Is it because it is what we grew up with it, and it was what was shoved in our heads since we were kids? Do you have a strong Christian foundation? I challenge anyone who say that I am wrong. Read the bible, read this site, question your faith and let us see. Research about Christianity's history and you will know. Learn about evolution and scientific facts, instead of believing in some supernatural hero who seems to have left you behind. I feel like I was brainwashed and fooled. All those years wasted, but it was never too late. Believe me, it was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my whole life. Now, I am a free thinker. I believe in what I see and things that can be proven; and I am proud of it.
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