First, let me introduce myself. My name is Martin, I'm 35, from South Wales, UK, but currently living in Pennsylvania, USA.
My American wife is a Presbyterian. In fact, everyone here is a Christian of one denomination or other. The first time I visited my wife's grandmother was a real eye-opener for me. My wife inadvertantly revealed that I was an atheist. Her grandmother gasped and said: "I can't believe we've got one in the family!". I can't remember a time when I ever believed in any god. I attended Catholic schools. My wife, who is very anti-catholic, blames my schooling for my lack of belief. But this is not true. They were excellent schools, and I thoroughly enjoyed religious education. I was a child, I loved that heady mix of history and fairy tales. She then wrongly blames my parents. My father is a believer, my mother isn't. But neither influenced me one way or another. We never discussed religion. Britain is not a particularly religious nation. I read somewhere that Americans are five times more likely to attend church than the British. Having lived on both sides of the Big Pond I can well believe it.
My wife is doing her very best to convert me. She is genuinely worried that I will go to hell. Last Christmas her grandmother presented me with my own personal bible! Wasn't that nice of her? I wasn't angry, in fact I have to admit being strangely touched by this gesture. So I began to read it... but couldn't get through the absurdly comical Genesis, I had to put it down and wipe the tears from my eyes. How can apparently intelligent people take that shit seriously?
But you know what? I wish it were all true: God, Jesus, Heaven, Live Happily Ever After For All Eternity. No wonder so many millions of people refuse to let go of this dream. The truth is too awful to contemplate... We are all just one heartbeat away from oblivion. I am terrified of death. As I say, I wish my wife was right, but unfortunately she isn't.
Martin Robins