I can't really remember much of my life. If only I'd kept photos or a diary... but then, I've always been far too lazy. So, I cannot give any guarantees as to the validity of this story. You can probably class it as "fiction".
As a kid I accepted the ambient dogma. Virtually everyone does, it seems. At some point a mental brake kicks in, and the priviliged channels that religion flows through are interrupted. If you're lucky, you're paying enough attention and focus on it - out of curiousity; what's this? - before your psychic immune-system can cover it up and improve its defences (after all, such a trauma to your world-view can only be bad, right?).
In some cases, I 'd like to say most, but I don't really know, this moment of doubt builds up into a stunning epiphany, where everything comes into question and your whole life to date seems like a dream that you've woken up from. And that's because it is. You are a new person, with a new way of thinking. Unless you're in Utah [ :) ] then the ovine acceptance and weakness of religion should become apparent. If the fear doesn't get to you, there's only one way to go.
Maybe that's true. Maybe most people only get one shot at agnosticism. It'd certainly explain the futility of religious argument.
I fell off the merry-go-round when I was 8. My dad had died when I was 4, and my family was fragmenting. But I don't think that had anything to do with it, religion had never been personal to me. I don't remember ever resenting god. I can't remember any transition (so the above story is mainly rhetoric. Please let me know if it rings true), but I know I was Jewish when I was 7 (one of my earliest memories is of wanting to be a rabbi!), and I have a distinct memory of chanting "I don't believe in god" to myself quietly in assembly whem I was 8. What I hoped to achieve, I don't know. Perhaps it was respect. It didn't work.
What got me questioning, I think, was the realization that no one else was. And once I questioned, the veil fell. I have matured alot since then (I am now 21 - oh, and please add "hopefully" to the previous statement....) and the nature of my atheism has certainly changed, too. I still feel the same shock at how religion gets past the rationality guard of the faithful<*>, and am forever amazed at humanity's infinite capacity for stupidity. It's occasional acts of compassion and intelligence do not go unnoticed, either.
If I have a religion now, it is science (Also money. Anyone who wishes to give, sorry donate me some money shall be worshipped and adored for, oh, at least until I have spent it.). It has yet to disappoint my need for awe and stimulation. I also love animals and will become a vegetarian as soon as I work up the willpower. Have I mentioned yet that I'm lazy...?
Michael Rosefield, aka susurrus Sheffield, England (yes, how quaint) godtheutterlyindifferent@hotmail.com sorry, all the short, snappy, ones had long been taken.But if you really don't like typing; susurrus@talk21.com And if message boards are your thing, I can usually be found lingering on the Godless Zone. Where I'm far less pretentious, eloquent and mild. But that's what the chance at posterity brings, eh?
<*> to be said with disdain. But you already knew that, didn't you?