pit, and the ensuing struggle is considerably more entertaining than the rest
of the show><Bold Fenian and the boys strike up cheesy Irish jig arrangement of 'May the cube be with you' [There really is such a track - on Thomas Dolby's 'Aliens Ate my Buick' album]; enter Hume in spangly jacket and Kira dressed as a large cuboid parcel>
Hume: Welcome! Thank you ladies, gentlemen and geometric figures. Tonight is going to be a nightmare of bad geometry puns as we welcome into our pyramidst <audience groans> that old square himself <audience groans>, Gene Ray - courtesy of www.timecube.com. And here to help me is my new robot assistant, Potenuse!
Audience: Hi, Potenuse!
<Potenuse - looking suspiciously like a painted silver dustbin mounted on a lawnmower chassis - drags in Gene "Parallel" Ray> Gene: All word is 'fictitious evil' - not a substance nor a deed.
Hume: I see that we're going to be in for a lot of argument by assertion this evening. But by your terms, all argument is fictitious evil anyway, yes? Including yours. Er... Warning: Don't try this at home until after reading AJ Ayer's 'Language, Truth and Logic', after which you will have lost all desire to do so.
Gene: Life is based upon a perfect math or your arm would be too short to wipe your butt.
Hume: What a compelling proof! How does maths relate to quadrupeds, birds and snakes? Surely 4 legs are better than 2, since 4 is a square! And then you've got nothing left to wipe your butt with...
Gene: Humans are fictitious word worshipers & math stupid. Human exist as personified 4-corner pyramid but with only a 1-corner perspective during a 4-corner rotation, or 4- stage metamorphosis.
Hume: Is THAT why my clothes don't fit?
Gene: Truth squares Life Circle and Cubes Earth sphere. Life rotates via 4-corners. Mensa is Truth ignorant.
Hume: Artichokes play football. Purple monkeys dance invisibly. Nimbo makes sense. The great thing about words is that you can put them into any order you like, but they won't necessarily have any relation to reality. If this isn't 'fictitious word worship', what is?
Gene: Adults evolve from child, for adults are never born.
Hume: Just as I sphered! <audience groans> 'Evolve' does not apply to individuals; and growth is not the same as evolution.
Gene: Word worship is evil scam
Hume: If by word worship you mean trying to make sense, than I plead guilty.
Gene: God desecrates childhood. You were educated stupid about 4-season Life Cube. 4-corners are simultaneous, there is no 1, 2, or 3-corner. 4 is both macro and micro. God can't occupy 4-corners.
Hume: Do you mean corners? Let's try 'angle' <audience groans>. In any case, cubes have 8 corners, not four. Squares and tetrahedrons have four corners, if memory serves me right.
<squares in the audience laugh so much they split their sides>
Gene: Time Cube disproves God.
Hume: Since god is not a proposition in maths or logic, it cannot be proved or disproved.
Gene: God is an evil adult "word scam" against children that justifies adult plunder of all natural resources on Earth.
<audience starts to gain some sympathy for this ranting pillock>
Gene: Educators are evil bastards.
<audience lose all sympathy - spheres start throwing maltesers at Gene. Though with what smooth geometric figures throw things it is not for me to say. Possibly a gravitational slingshot? Oh for goodness sake stop quibbling - it's only a game show!>
Gene: You have a 4-corner head - with only a 1-corner face. You are 1/4 of the person you were taught to think you are.
Hume: Please point out exactly where these corners are. This statement may be justified in the case of Arnold Schwarzenegger, but it doesn't go for most of us.
<Arny, who is - as it happens - in the audience, takes offence and runs
at Gene. Bold Fenian and the band rush to restrain him, aided by Zorb the Sacred
Crocodile lunging out of the
pit, and the ensuing struggle is considerably more entertaining than the rest
of the show>
Gene: Academic and religious teachings equate mental retardation - as a 2x4x4 Cube creation principle reduced to a 1/4 (corner). You are educated retarded, too stupid for Time Cube.
<there is a brief pause and a rattle of abaci and calculator buttons>
Hume: Having been educated retarded, I fail to see how 2x4x4 works out as a cube. This works out as 32, which is not a cube!
Gene: 'Takes village to raise child'. Educators are evil people; words corrupt principles, 'takes child out of family'& 'takes village out of child' - 'empowerment of self-evil'. There is no God in 2 x 4x4 femininity and masculinity 2 sex Cube hemispheres,
Hume: How can a cube have hemispheres? Evil word worshipper that I am, I fail to understand that bit!
Gene: ...as life is a 2-Cube crap-game.
Hume: Take out the last hyphen and you'll find us in agreement.
Gene: All words equal not 1 deed.
Hume: But then again, all deeds equal not one word. And all artichokes equal not one painted plaster bust of Baruch Spinoza. For someone who rejects word worship, you're awfully quick off the mark to purvey nonsense by definition.
Gene: Try words to stop tornado. Truth of Cube is ineffable. Nature outlaws word gods. Cubeless word is adult evil. Word enslaves the children.You were educated 'stupid' by evil religious teachers, and can't know Time Cube. 'Cube Spirit' is Almighty. Educators are too damn stupid to know 4/16 Cube. There is no Cubic teacher. Educators are the primary cause of evil mathematics. God is but a single corner face on a 4-corner head. Fire Religious Teachers too stupid for 4/16 Life.
Hume: Again, how does 4/16 come out as a cube? Words cannot stop a tornado,
admittedly, but try defining a primary cause without using words and see how
far you get. However much you pretend otherwise, your whole argument sinks almost
instantly into the nominalist quagmire of philosophical .
Back to which we intend to send it!
<there is another short pause as the audience try to untangle the grammar of this one, correct though it is. Meanwhile, Zorb has Arny by the leg and BF decks him with a single punch>
Hume: Don't deck a Schwarzenegger - but do dec a hedron. <audience groans>
Gene: There is no 1- corner god in 4-corner lifetime stages of human evolution metamorphosis ... wherein born baby dies to child, child dies to parent & parent dies to grand-parent corner. Adults evolve, not born.
Hume: Again, we have a nominalist fallacy regarding evolution and metamorphosis. These terms refer to processes which are NOT the same as a human infant growing into an adult. Evolution does not apply to individuals; metamorphosis (tadpole to frog; caterpillar to butterfly) does not happen in humans. Get a dictionary!
Gene: Ignorance of "Time Cube" indicts you stupid and evil. Explain the "Time Cube". Do you like being Stupid? "Our Cube" corners Liars.
<audience groans>
Hume: <incandescent with rage> I DO THE GAGS AROUND HERE, YOU
SIX FACED SLIME-BALL! HIT HIM WITH THE !
<Kira, hampered somewhat by her outfit, moves to throw Gene in the
but falls over a prone Schwarzenegger. Potenuse falls over and starts smoking,
but BF saves the day by hitting Gene in the face with a set of uillean pipes,
causing him to trip backwards over Zorb the Sacred Crocodile and fall into the
pit with a satisfying
GLOOP noise>
Hume: That's all for now folks - see you next week! <Bold Fenian and the band launch into "Genie with the light brown cube">
