<Bold Fenian and the band strike up a slip-jig arrangement of 'Nearer my god to thee' - enter Hume in spangly jacket to tumultuous applause>
Hume: Thank you ladies, gentlemen and reptiles! Yes, tonight we have a very special edition of the show, featuring Britain's leading purveyor of truly bizarre theories, David Icke, courtesy of http://www.davidicke.com/icke/temp/reptconn.html
<Audience cheer, whistle, hiss, rattle and change shape spontaneously; enter Kira, leading a bemused looking Icke dressed in a turquoise shell suit>
Hume: And a new special guest in the 
pit - it's Zorb the Sacred
Crocodile!
<Zorb surfaces with an insrutable reptilian grin, to be greeted with 'oohs' and 'ahs' from the audience>
Icke: If you are new to my work, the most bizarre information you will find on this site is that concerning the reptilian connection.
Hume: No dispute so far...
Icke: I understand that. It is quite something to absorb from our conditioned version of reality. But, then, that is the very point. If you want to keep something from the people, give them a version of reality and possibility that is so far from what is really going on that even if the truth comes to light it will seem far too ludicrous and extreme for most people to believe it.
Hume: So to put that more simply, what we think of as 'reality' is an illusion, and 'real' reality is to be found in your books, yes?
<silent pause as the reptiles - their brains rendered sluggish by the studio air conditioning - stop to work that one out>
Icke: Indeed, if you do your job well enough, the people will laugh at the truth, call it insane, and ridicule anyone who promotes it.
Hume: Er... which truth? Yours or everyone else's? So a scientist who succeeds in explaining something is doing a good job if everyone laughs at im and calls him insane?
Icke: To truly understand how all the information on this site fits together into one coherent whole (which it does), you really need to read my book, The Biggest Secret. But for those who have not yet done so, here is some basic background. Please remember, however, that in the book there is an enormous amount of information to support what I am about to say.
Hume: Whoa there boy! You can put on a commercial during the break! And as for coherent wholes, remember Crabtree's Bludgeon - no set of data, however disparate, exists which cannot be accounted for in a coherent manner. In other words, 'theories of everything' are so cheap you can make them at home for nothing. What separates the snakes from the lizards is how well these theories fit the available evidence.
Icke: When I reached the point some years ago where I had put together the structure through which a few people control the direction of the world (see And The Truth Shall Set You Free), it was clear that this network of secret societies and covert groups manipulating global politics, business, banking, military, media, and so on, could not have been put together in a few years or decades. It had to go back a very long time.
Hume: The great thing about discovering 'covert' networks - as all conspiracy theorists know - is that absence of evidence can be held to count in your favour "Well of COURSE there's no evidence, it's all suppressed by those in power!" etc. Yet when we look at a genuine historical example of things the news of which is suppressed (eg the Holocaust), evidence will out in the end, in spite of those conspiracy theorists who try to hide it!
Icke: So I began to trace it back into what we call history. I did this in the knowledge that, for some reason, bloodline and genetics were vitally important to these manipulators, the Illuminati or Illuminated ones - illuminated into knowledge that the public never see.
Hume: And just how did you determine who these 'illuminati' were whose bloodlines you were tracing back? The whole thing smacks of circular argument to me. And furthermore, as we dealt with not so long ago in response to Tom Cooper's arithmetic, the further back you go in genealogy the narrower your baseline gets, statistically speaking, due to inbreeding.
Icke: I followed the trail back comfortably to the time of the Crusades in the Middle East, the 12th and 13th centuries, that kind of period, and on it went far back into the ancient world and pre-history.
Hume: Using what sources, Dave? Baigent, Lincoln and Leigh?
<audience members who have heard of B, Land L and their epoch-untouching book 'Holy Blood and the Holy Grail' laugh, others look bemused and make a mental note to do a web search later>
Icke: There, all over the planet, you find the ancient legends and accounts of "gods" from another world who interbred with humanity to create a hybrid network of bloodlines. The Old Testament, for example, talks about the "Sons of God" who interbred with the daughters of men to create the hybrid race, the Nefilim. Before it was translated into English, that passage read "the sons of the gods", plural. But the Bible accounts are only one of so many that describe the same theme.
The Sumerian clay tablets, found in what we now call Iraq in the middle of the 19th century, tell a similar story. It is estimated they were buried around 2,000 BC, but the stories they tell go back long before that. The tablets talk of a race of "gods" from another world who brought advanced knowledge to the planet and interbred with humans to create hybrid bloodlines. These "gods" are called in the tablets, the "Anunnaki", which apparently translates as "those who from heaven to earth came."
The ancient accounts tell us that these hybrid bloodlines, the fusion of the genes of selected humans with those of the "gods", were put into the positions of ruling royal power, especially in the ancient Near and Middle East, in advanced cultures like Sumer, Babylon, and Egypt. But it happened elsewhere, also, as you will find, for example, in the amazing information provided on this site by the African Zulu shaman, Credo Mutwa, and in the incredible Credo videos, Reptilian Agenda, parts one and two. He tells the same story from the black African tradition that I have uncovered elsewhere in the world.
Hume: That's as may be, Ickey baby, but are you willing to follow other elements of myhtology found worldwide to the same conclusion? How about gods and godesses giving birth through surprising bits of their anatomy?
<audience hiss, rattle, snore, and in extreme cases spontaneously produce Spice Girls from their eyeballs who then take over the government after a pause of 4,000 years>
Icke: The accounts of the "serpent race" in ancient cultures are simply endless wherever you look and the serpent, reptilian, symbolism in relation to the Anunnaki and other versions of these "gods" is equally widespread. We see this in the Bible, for instance, with the serpent in the "Garden of Eden"- a story which clearly comes from the Sumerian accounts, as does the story of Moses in the bulrushes, a story told about a Sumerian king long before the Bible. This is why I found it so astounding when I was told by Zecharia Sitchin, the best-known translator of the Sumerian tablets, that there was no evidence of a serpent race in the ancient world. Of course there is. He also strongly advised me in relation to the serpent race…"Don't go there". Why, when the evidence, ancient and modern, is so enormous?
Hume: Because he's looked at this 'evidence' and knows it's a crock?
Icke: From these bloodlines has come the origin of the "divine right of kings", the belief that only certain bloodlines have the god-given right to rule. In truth this is not the "divine" or "God" at all. It is the right to rule from the reptilian "gods" by way of your hybrid genetics.
Hume: So what are we to make of all those kings and emperors (most of them, if you look carfeully enough) who took over power by the sword? Barbarians tend to end up on top (Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, Baybars, Alaric the Goth, Pepin the Short, Hengist and Horsa, the Moghuls, the chariot conquerors of ancient Egypt, Henry Tudor, William the Conqueror...) If all these guys were reptiles, how did they manage to hold their swords?
<reptilian elements of the audience attempt the experiment, with a series of clanging sounds and screams from other audience members unlucky enought to get in the way>
Icke: These bloodlines later became the royal and aristocratic families of Europe and, thanks to the "Great" British Empire and the other European empires, they were exported to the Americas, Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and right across into the Far East, where they connected with other reptilian hybrid bloodlines, like those, most obviously, in China, where the symbolism of the dragon is the very basis of their culture.
Hume: The symbol of the Japanese royal house was the rising sun. Is that where THEY came from? Persia had the 'peacock throne'. Did their ancestors mate with screaming fowl? You take symbols too literally at your own peril...
Icke: These reptilian-human hybrid lines became the political and economic rulers of these lands occupied by the European empires and they continue to rule these countries to this day. The United States of America has been home to hundreds of millions of people since 1776. What's more, these people came from an amazingly diverse genetic pool. And yet, wait for this, the 42 who have become Presidents of the United States are all related!!! Thirty-Three of them alone go back to Charlemagne, one of the most famous monarchs of what we call France. He just happens to be a major figure in the story of these bloodlines and their expansion out of Britain, France, Germany, and elsewhere.
<a series of scuffles break out in the audience between reptiles who want to try the hybrid thing and human females who don't>
Hume: How you trace back these people's lines to Charlemagne is beyond me. More to the point, it's beyond YOU! And again, if you trace back enough generations to waht is basically a Western-European diaspora, we would expect to find a fair number of genetic relationships.
And at that point, folks, we break off for a new, regular section of the show, featuring our roving reporter, Tellurianic the Deity Hunter!
<cut to tellurianic, balancing precariously up a ladder in a catholic church >
tellurianic <speaking in hushed tones into his microphone>: Hello Hume! I can just about hear you.... Tonight, I'm in the Church of Our Lady of Valpolicella, where thousands come every year to see a crying statue of the Virgin Mary. As you can see, I'm balancing here behind the statue, and you can quite clearly see the plumbing behind it! These pipes go down to a tap inside the pulpit, and come out in the eyes of the statue! <Gregorian chant is heard, off> And in a moment, a thousand or more pilgrims carrying the traditional lances and swords will come into this church, prepared to see a miracle <the chant gets louder and is mixed with angry shouting> imagine their reaction when I show them that it's just a trick! <tellurianic suddenly disappears out of shot in a manner that suggests a ladder being kicked over, and the sound track is filled with shouting, metallic scraping noises and gurgling; picture goes fuzzy>
Hume: Well, we seem to have lost our link there... we'll take break and be right back! <picture is filled with Kira, using her shoe to smack the head of Zorb the Sacred Crocodile, who seems very keen on trying to create a Zorb-Kira hybrid>
