| * | Whilst publically denying it, I, like all
you other atheists in the Organisation, have been busy working on My
self-worship temple.
There is no higher power in the universe than human beings, and Myself in particular. In recognition of this, a significant portion of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy annual budget is being devoted to the construction of a Mighty Temple at a secret location in North Lancashire, England. This temple will be built for the purpose of worshipping Myself. Car parking will be available for several hundred cars and buses, and a rail link is being considered by the Government EAC Committee. The site has already been cleared and the foundations should be completed by the end of the month. The polished marble floor-tiles have been purchased, and the transactions to acquire the gold, platinum and silver for the roof are proceeding without problem. The following image shows what the completed structure will look like.
This towering edifice will (quite rightly) dwarf St.Paul's Cathedral and most of the other so-called temples to various false deities. As the single most important being in the universe (at least, as far as I am concerned) it is only fitting that all other places of worship should pale into insignificance in comparison. I have informed the main Secular Humanist organisations of the expected completion date, at which time they will quietly alter their title to Secular Adrianist. Much of My time will be taken up worshipping Myself in this Holy place, praising My own mighty accomplishments, reading (with awe) the details of My life and works and inspiring the Brotherhood Of Adrian monks to compose hymns and prayers to further the Glory of Me. When not directly engaged in self-worship, I will be meditating in the Holy Massage Parlour, Divine Swimming Pool or the Distillery Of The Sacred Liquor. As you can see, the building will certainly be capable of accomodating hundreds of others who bow to My simple superiority and the entry fee will be quite reasonable, considering. There will be special meditation rooms, where people may contemplate Myself, and I may even move amongst the congregration in mysterious ways from time to time. Naturally, the followers of the worlds religions would be deeply upset to discover that they have actually been worshipping Me and Me alone all this time, albeit indirectly. For many years, we atheists have been accused of worshipping ourselves, but have so far successfully managed to keep the glorious truth from the general public. That is why the plans for this and all the other atheist self-worship temples need to be kept secret. Until the time is right...
©Adrian Barnett 1998 |
* |
