Wasteland Biblical Toys For Good Christian Children

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Pious Play-Products

Christmas is coming, and what better way to reinforce the traditional Christian values of our great nation than with the new Wasteland range of Biblical Toys?

Children are so often given gifts that are inappropriate for Christians; that portray violence, nudity, sex or bodily functions or encourage play that falls below your Good Christian moral standards.

The Biblical Toys range has been painstakingly researched by theologian toy-makers to ensure that spiritually inspirational and Biblically accurate messages are included in the design. These toys will give hours of fun, pleasure, and scriptural education for children of all ages.

And yes, you parents can play with them when the kids have gone to bed!

The Smiting Stick


The Smiting Stick. Gives you the Power Of Life And Death Over All Creation. Just like the real thing!
Select the type of doom you wish to Smite you victim with, and press the "I Smite Thee" button to hear the realistic sound effects.

Smites include

  • Plague Of Boils
  • Burning Wrath
  • Instant Death
  • Leprosy
  • Earthquake
  • Poverty
  • Fixed smile and glazed expression
  • Swarm Of Locusts

Only $39.99! (batteries not included)

Noah's Ark - complete with drowned sinners!

This accurate scale model of the Great Ark of Noah really floats. Unfortunately, the wicked sinners aren't so lucky.

Imagine the fun your youngsters can have every bathtime with this great toy, as they place the Ark and all the sinners in the empty tub and then turn on the taps (which can be covered with realistic-looking foam rubber storm-clouds)! The waters begin to rise, the Ark takes to the waves, and the tub is washed clean of sin as all the wicked sinners sink beneath the "ocean". What fun! And it's educational too!

Only $29.99! (requires some assembly)

Leprosy : the Video Game

You choose to play either the Angel Of Death, stalking unwary citizens through the streets of Bethlehem, or Jehovah Himself, Creator of Leprosy and other unpleasant Biblical diseases. You score points for turning people into Lepers as this raises awareness of sickness and deformity, and encourages the healthy citizens to be charitable towards those less well off (i.e. the ones you've made sick). As your score increases, you become able to Create more exotic and interesting afflictions with to maim, blind and kill your worshippers, such as malaria, smallpox, AIDS and eventually cancer.
Meanwhile, your pesky Son is running round the town, healing people left, right and center. Can you infect the population before Jesus Heals them all?

Only $24.99!

Watch out for the sequel to this great game : Demon Posession/Excorcisor!

DOOM of the Egyptian Firstborn

Firstborn DOOM
First-person perspective Shoot-Em-Up, in the style of the classic Doom and Quake games. You are The Angel Of Death, stalking the firstborn sons of Egypt through the cramped city streets. You have until dawn to toast them all with a wide selection of high-tech biblical weaponry. Be careful though! Points are deducted for accidentally slaughtering parents, the second-born, or Hebrew children. Remember to watch out for that lamb's blood!

Deathmatch mode available, where you and a friend both play Angels Of Death and have to hunt each other down, causing comic mayhem as you lay waste to the city and its innocent inhabitants.

Only $34.99, available for PC, Sony Playstation and N64.

Pillar of salt board-game

Coming Soon
Fun board-game for all the family.

Guide your pieces out of the doomed cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, but don't look back!

Winner is the last player to be turned to salt.

Only $14.99!

Harden Pharaoh's Heart

Coming Soon
You want to get your people out of Egypt quickly, but Pharaoh won't let them go. What do you do?

Move your pieces around the board, desperately seeking freedom. When one player uses a Plague Card against the Egyptian people, another player can counterattack with a Harden Heart card, to prevent the Pharaoh giving in.

Brilliant game of tactics and strategy for players of all ages, with important, inscrutable moral messages for youngsters.

Wither The Fig

Coming Soon
The game of out-of-season fruit harvesting.

You play Jesus Christ, wandering around looking for something to eat. Suddenly, you stumble across a fig-tree. You get to make the decision whether to use your Omniscience to determine whether or not there should be any figs, your Omnipotence to Create figs where there should normally be none, or your Smiting Power to wither the fig tree for its unreasonable non-fruiting activities.

Just like the real thing!

Stone The Adulterer

Video Game
Coming Soon
Can you spot the adulterers in the crowd? Score Mega-Points by stoning them to death with your wide selection of Stones, Rocks and Pebbles. In later levels, you must learn to recognise remarried divorcees and people lusting in their hearts after women. And stone them to death!

(Not suitable for children under three.)

Jacob's Genetics Lab

Coming Soon
Experience the thrill of a real Genetics Laboratory by holding striped, spotted or ringstraked staffs in front of common farm animals, and try to guess which ones will have spotted, striped or even chequered offspring. Dazzle your evolutionist friends with this simple experiment demonstrating the truth to be found in the Bible.

© Adrian Barnett 1998
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