The Year 2000

Time remaining until the Millennium

( This applet will only work in a Java1.2 capable browser, like Netscape4 or IE4 (sorry). Click on it to change the fancy effects. If you cannot see the Java clock above, your browser may be having difficulty with the Java1.2 code. If the browser starts trying to download the Java Plug-in, be warned that it is about 12Mb in size, so you may want to stop it if you're using a modem. It's also a CPU hog... )

In order to save time, the Wasteland presents a Zero-Hour Millennium Countdown clock. As the changeover to the Year 2000 CE occurs, all the world's millennium countdown clocks will reach this magical number.

This table highlights the important events that are predicted for the year 2000, and whether they will or will not actually transpire.

Millennium Watch

Cut this out and stick it on your fridge.

Event Predicted Actually Happened
at Millenium

End of world as we know it

Ground splits apart, demons rise out to torment the living

Jesus descends from Heaven
Second Coming at last.

Jesus begins Tribulation battle against Satan

All knees shall bow

Chosen few ascend to Heaven

Mass conversion to Christianity
across entire globe

Invasion by UFOs

Mass suicides by small, strange cults

Miracle healings all over world

Lots of big parties

Large sales of Year 2000 calendars

Bill Gates reveals secret identity as costumed crimefighter

Drunken revelry

Life goes on as normal

Claims made that Second Coming happened, but was "invisible" or "spiritual"

Pat Robertson made King of United States

Many conflicting revelations of date of "real" Second Coming

Religion becomes even more irrelevant to life

Fundies equate apathy towards religion with hostility

Failure of religious predictions blamed on Atheism, Humanism, Satan, Sin -
anything but faulty predictions, in fact.

Printing this table before the year 2000 prevents us from wasting any valuable time and energy researching the events after the year 2000, especially as the table is likely to be just as valid then as it is now.